Three of Cauldrons
This morning as I was getting ready to leave the hotel room, my (new) Witchy Tarot deck called out to me. I didn't have time to play with it there, so I tucked it into my purse and headed out the door.
When I got into work, it was very quiet, so I shuffled the deck and asked it what was going on with me today. Since hunky has been on my mind, it wasn't surprising that I pulled the Three of Cauldrons (cups).
Cups is the emotions suit, and in many decks the three of cups portrays three women. However, in the Witchy Tarot, it shows a skateboarding dude and an inline skating girl. The dude is sitting on a wall, and the girl is in his lap. She looks like she is about to feed him something from the cauldron, but instead they are huddled together, as if sharing a secret.
I think it's interesting that I used this deck today instead of Tarot of White Cats. In this particular deck, this card obviously speaks to my romantic relationship, whereas the same card out of the White Cats deck would not.
Just yesterday, Todd and I had a very interesting chat at lunchtime. At some point, he said that it didn't seem like I was very broken up about our separation, and that worried him a bit. Not that he wants me to be sad, but that it didn't appear as if I missed him or was affected by his absence, which could signal a lack of desire on my part to work things out.
I told him that while of course I am affected by our separation, I think I've just come to the "fuck it" part of it. We've been together for 8 years, most of which I've felt I've never been completely what he wants. The first separation tore me apart. I became depressed and needed counseling... a first in my life for both. This time, though, I think I'm just too weary of the situation... now it's just "fuck it, give him time to figure it out. I'll live either way."
My comment hurt him a little, and I feel bad about that. And it's not that I don't want him... I do. But I am not going to change to accomodate him any further than I have already.
So, how does this rant relate to the card? Just that the card shows us talking, sharing secrets. And since I've moved into the hotel, it seems that everytime we get together, we're doing that: talking. Sharing. No fuss. No drama. Just plain talk.
I think this card is showing me that we will continue to talk. And really, that's all I need to know for now.
When I got into work, it was very quiet, so I shuffled the deck and asked it what was going on with me today. Since hunky has been on my mind, it wasn't surprising that I pulled the Three of Cauldrons (cups).
Cups is the emotions suit, and in many decks the three of cups portrays three women. However, in the Witchy Tarot, it shows a skateboarding dude and an inline skating girl. The dude is sitting on a wall, and the girl is in his lap. She looks like she is about to feed him something from the cauldron, but instead they are huddled together, as if sharing a secret.
I think it's interesting that I used this deck today instead of Tarot of White Cats. In this particular deck, this card obviously speaks to my romantic relationship, whereas the same card out of the White Cats deck would not.
Just yesterday, Todd and I had a very interesting chat at lunchtime. At some point, he said that it didn't seem like I was very broken up about our separation, and that worried him a bit. Not that he wants me to be sad, but that it didn't appear as if I missed him or was affected by his absence, which could signal a lack of desire on my part to work things out.
I told him that while of course I am affected by our separation, I think I've just come to the "fuck it" part of it. We've been together for 8 years, most of which I've felt I've never been completely what he wants. The first separation tore me apart. I became depressed and needed counseling... a first in my life for both. This time, though, I think I'm just too weary of the situation... now it's just "fuck it, give him time to figure it out. I'll live either way."
My comment hurt him a little, and I feel bad about that. And it's not that I don't want him... I do. But I am not going to change to accomodate him any further than I have already.
So, how does this rant relate to the card? Just that the card shows us talking, sharing secrets. And since I've moved into the hotel, it seems that everytime we get together, we're doing that: talking. Sharing. No fuss. No drama. Just plain talk.
I think this card is showing me that we will continue to talk. And really, that's all I need to know for now.
posted by Semi-Wicked @ 1:49 PM
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